Reading 849-76

TEXT OF READING 849-76 M 37

Text

Date: 5/29/1944 Sex: M Age: 37 ReadingID: 5069

This Psychic Reading given by Edgar Cayce at the office of the Association, Arctic Crescent, Virginia Beach, Va., this 29th day of May, 1944, in accordance with request made by the self - Mr. [849], Active Member of the Ass”n for Research and Enlightenment, Inc.

[Edgar Cayce; Gertrude Cayce, Conductor; Gladys Davis, Jeannette Fitch, Stenos.]

Time of Reading 3:30 to 4:30 P. M. Eastern War Time. Clearwater Beach, Fla.

1. GC: You will give the physical condition of this body at the present time with suggestions for further corrective measures, answering the questions, as I ask them:

2. EC: Yes, Clearwater Beach - [849].

3. Yes, we have the body here; this we have had before.

4. As we find, there are still improvements, while much is yet to be desired. But the applications being made are very good. Now that the anxieties of the labors are being somewhat allayed, do labor towards correcting the static conditions produced in the lumbar and sacral areas. Begin breaking up these first. This will allow circulation - not only through the limbs - but through the shoulders and the neck to be more uniform.

5. Do keep up with the whole of the Appliance, the short-wave and the deep massages. But after the breaking up, don’t hurry it, but do keep eliminations somewhat better or increased, and do have more of the attempt to walk and more of the swimming.

6. Ready for questions.

7. (Q) Would Alka-Minro or a mineral water help the entity at this time? (A) These would be very well to change the lymph circulation, and for that as has been indicated for the body. A vegetable as well as a mineral laxative should be altered in the use of alkalizers or for increasing eliminations through the alimentary canal. It is well for those requiring any laxative to change about. Have a mineral and again the vegetable compound so there is the better balance kept, and neither will become so necessary or it will not destroy entirely the sphincter activities of the muscular forces of the alimentary canal. It is well for the mineral water to be used.

8. (Q) Is the short-wave being administered satisfactorily? (A) These activities are very good and we would begin breaking up or attempting to do so, for it will appear to hurt a good deal through the sacral and lumbar.

9. (Q) Would breathing exercises such as those outlined in Dr. Cannon’s book, SLEEPING THROUGH SPACE help the body now? (A) These will not be well for this body until there are some changes. These require the activities that would become too much of a set rule of the mental, and the body is a heap bigger in its mind than Cannon’s suggestions. [Dr. Alexander Cannon]

10. (Q) The entity wishes to devote himself to writing of a spiritual nature now that he is free to do so. Should he write the book, WHAT IS TRUTH? (A) This, as we find, would be well. Write it from that angle of who asked, and the answer LIVED by Him who would not answer the question verbally but answered it in His giving to man the pattern, the manner in which he is to approach and seek and know and apply. For it’s in the application that ye know truth.

11. (Q) Should he try to complete the long poem 1776 now? (A) This should be rather: as when moved by the spirit, by an incentive from something spoken, something written or a material happening, add to it. For this is inspirationally written and don’t break that! You will write, then, occasionally, or when moved by the spirit; not by attempting to concentrate to such an extent to be rid of the influences from within coordinated with the influences from without.

12. (Q) What subjects should the entity write on for the Association pamphlets he wishes to do now - give subjects in the order of importance. (A) As we find, these should be such as stress more the necessity of the spiritual attitude in seeking for information through these channels. First, then, we would give a pamphlet on Mental and Spiritual Readings, their relationships to the Physical and Life Reading and the necessity of the individual knowing the meaning of karma and life before asking a mental and spiritual direction.

Then any of those: as of Prayer, as presented in the readings, and how that obtained is according to the attitude of the individual seeking to aid or help self.

Then any phase, but these three especially in the beginning: Mental and Spiritual readings, then Prayer, then, “As ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them,” as presented in the information, which is taken from, first: Exodus 19:5, Deuteronomy 30, St. John 14, 15, 16. These are to be used merely as the background of that which is presented in same, in the information, for the readings of the Association.

13. (Q) What spiritual truths should the entity make as the great objectives in the book, WHAT IS TRUTH? (A) Much of that which would be taken from the verses and chapters given may be used as the basis, see?

14. (Q) Will this source help him as he progresses with the book, should he prepare questions? (A) There should be questions prepared from the beginning, and these will be carried through.

15. (Q) What information now in the files will help him with the book and the pamphlets? (A) This will necessarily have to be sought out by those who classify information.

16. (Q) Please give a prayer for meditation to be used while writing the pamphlets, the book, and the poem? (A) FATHER-MOTHER-GOD! IN THY MERCY, IN THY LOVE, BE THOU THE GUIDE JUST NOW, AS I SEEK IN HUMILITY AND IN EARNESTNESS TO PRESENT THAT WHICH MAY GIVE MY FELLOW MAN A BETTER AND A MORE PERFECT INSIGHT INTO THE LOVE WHICH WAS MANIFESTED BY JESUS, MY LORD AND MY GOD. HELP, THOU, O GOD, MY EVERY EFFORT.

17. We are through with this reading.

Copy to Self ” ” Ass’n file ” for indexing

Reports

Reports & Follow-up

R1. 4/18/46 Ltr. to HLC:

New York 19, N.Y.

Dear Hugh Lynn:

I suggest that you come up and talk things over with me, choosing, if possible, a week end, since I find that I am more than ever weighted with work. We are leaving for Connecticut on Saturday and will be away most of next week, so I suggest either the first or the second week end in May.

We are leaving for Clearwater Beach on June 15th, so there is no possibility that I will either get to the Congress or to Virginia Beach. That possibility never occurred to me because of the impossibility of either bathing or getting massage, both of which are imperative for my health. At present I am making good progress under Reilly but the long winter hast taken its toll; my reserve of energy is considerably vitiated and I am now living only for the day when I can get to Florida, relax in the sun, and lie in the warm waters of the Gulf. This has been a long winter and a hard one, though it has seen much accomplished and fulfilled all of its promises.

Love, [849]

R2. 7/15/46 “I am improving down here and have been improving quite steadily since Reilly [Harold J. Reilly, Ph.T.] took over. I represent a serious case which is continuing to follow the readings and will be a demonstration for them second to none when I am well.”

R3. 10/29/46 Dr. H. J. Reilly’s ltr.: “Have been seeing [849] 3 times a wk. and working on him. I am now able to get him around on his abdomen and work his back which is a new development. His neck and shoulders are loosening up quite a bit and I think you will see more and more improvement when you come north.”

R4. 12/47 Dr. H. J. Reilly wrote: “[849] will be walking within four years.”

R5. 8/10/48 “He seems to continue his progress, walking in the water, etc.”

R6. 10/7/48 Mr. [849] wrote about [1102]‘s father having had a heart attack. She had to return to D.C. to look after him.

R7. 1/18/49 Letter to HLC shortly after he had arrived in D.C. from N.Y.:

The train was on time and I got to sleep about 12.30. On waking I had a strange and frightening experience.

I was relaxed and without pain when I went to sleep, and slept deeply. About 7.30 [1102] rushed into the room and closed the window with a bang - the signal for me to awaken instantly.

This I could not do. I was unable to understand where I was; I could not realize my physical situation. I did not think I was in N.Y., or some other geographical spot - I just didn’t know where I was. Then as I realized I was in Washington I saw, clairvoyantly it would seem, but actually so far as my consciousness is concerned, something pouring into me, into my nerves and mind and being - it was the environment in which I lay, and as it came into me, permeating every atom of my being, I began to ache and hurt. By the time I was roused and on my pillows I was aching again, and when breakfast was finished I realized my innards were tied in knots. I felt just as I had when I left here, and my energy was gone.

Not only was this the first time such a thing has happened to me but I never read of such an experience. It was so vivid that it seems as if I watched muddy water flowing through a garden, soaking into the ground and working its way to the roots of the plants.

Immediately I knew that this is what has been going on always in such an environment as this - whether in childhood or later. The N.Y. days, when riotous living make me feel better, were nothing more than a purge, an emptying.

Now that I have seen it happen I realize what it will eventually do. From a physical standpoint I will get sicker and more helpless. That doesn’t worry me as much as the feeling that, with more sensitivity, more awareness, more feeling of urgency about the work to be done, it will get into my mind. If this happens I will be sent to the local city institution, St. Elizabeth’s, and there I may improve; but as soon as I am released to my family I will slip again. This may sound far-fetched to you but such breaks, as with [2784], come quickly. I want you to know where I’ll be in such an eventuality.

It didn’t happen previously because the environment was not so intense and there was hope. Now that the karmic pattern has changed there is no hope. My own interpretation of the situation differs from yours - I felt that since you made the decision in Egypt which brought about the environment, yours would be the decision to free me from it. You decided otherwise, as did others involved in that faraway time. My inclination therefore is to look around, as I disintegrate, to see where I’ll land, karmically speaking. I am concerned about what I shall carry with me in my subconscious, to reappear when I am born again in the world. I am afraid of my feelings, in another life, about certain institutions like marriage, and about certain types of people, such as those who give lip service to religion, and murder any who try to practice it - how will I feel about the people with money who have turned us down in these last weeks - about all the individuals whom I have loved and worked with and tried to help, who side-stepped so neatly when the problem of doing something for me turned up. For instance, what woman, except Peggy, would I trust to be my mother? What would I do to any woman who tried to involve me in marriage - probably I would kill her. Look at the mess the late poet is in, whose life was served my many friends - what will I do when released of flesh - I will want to fly from everyone and everything in the world, but will I?

Naturally, I shall go on as I have been going on - on Tuesday I report for an afternoon at Johns Hopkins to get their opinion and decision. But of [if] anything happens to me, next year, in two years, in five years, physically or mentally, to remove me, gather my books and papers, finished and unfinished, at the beach - they may serve as a point of attraction, and I may be drawn to that place, where prayer and good works can help me. I, from now on, will not be able to help myself. That is the thing which fills me with uncertainty. I have signed myself over to others - to their decisions - and I do not trust them. This, you must realize, is not because they do not love me - they do. But they do not love God.

Love [849]

R8. 1/23/49 Ltr. to HLC:

Sunday,

Dear Hugh Lynn:-

Thanks for you letter on Seymour stationery; the one from the beach hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m not surprised - what with censorship here, no regular air service to Israel, and the usual complications of a state of war, it is a wonder that we get any mail at all. For a while, because of the dreadful state of tension and exhaustion, a blur in front of my right eye and the god-awful conditions under which I had to exist here, I thought I might be dead - I fell asleep sitting up on the plane and since waking having felt considerably less than normal. Letters which I received from [1102] and [903] didn’t help to disillusion me - their messages were only echoes of the situation I left behind me. But your letter was real and indicated the truth - that I am off on a rather complicated and difficult piece of karma for which I volunteered, and have been going through, since leaving New York, a rigid test as to my fitness.

Things couldn’t have been worse, really, and even at this point, on the first day I can consider normal since arriving, there is not too much promise that I will be able to piece together the material I need for a book, and achieve my purpose. The best I say is that despite the handicaps I belong here and the people themselves recognize it; I’d like to stay a good while, but it does not seem possible. This, in every since - karmic, historic, prophetic - is it; I am thrilled through my exhaustion and pain at being here.

At last I have a decent room, facing the sea, and a nurse companion who fills all the jobs John undertook, or was to undertake. I am sitting for the first time on my balcony, overlooking the Mediterranean, with the sun in my face and the sound of surf in my ears - and I am writing to you. That makes a pattern, and I feel that for today I have a little more to sustain me than the diet of raw faith and prayer which have been my fare for so many weeks. Looking at this water, savoring the memories I have experienced here in meditation, I know my future for a long time lies at the edge of two great waters, here by the Mediterranean, there in Virginia Beach by the Atlantic. I hope to be with you next summer, and this time if your car doesn’t break down perhaps you can see me collect a little item at … at the big alumni finals, just before the congress. You said [903] was informing me of her efforts in my behalf - her only letter to me since hearing of the Chambers incident tells me very little and is laced with irritability at the nuisance I am to her; it opens with a statement that is a good deal harder for me to take than anything which has been visited on me along the way - she says she began a letter to me a week before but so many people dropped in during the holidays she didn’t have time to finish it. That sort of excuse never impressed me at any time - in this moment it almost succeeds in shaking my head, which is highly immovable. I cannot tell you what all this is doing to me, except to say that my values are being confirmed with evidence I would as soon not see. Love is covered by more veils than Isis, and one never knows when a person is going to decide that enough have been removed, and that is that.

One purpose has been served by the events which preceded my leaving, and what has happened since. I know now more certainly than ever that my only faithful lover is the One I followed here. Where He will lead me next I do not know. There is no return along the paths I have followed to this place. At this very moment there is no return at all; how I can manage to stay here and support myself I do not know, but I must make the effort, since I cannot go back to America under the circumstances which will prevail if I take up the reservation I have made on the Exeter for April, since I will arrive in New York, a) without money; b) without an attendant or the means to procure one; c) a home or room or job. It is not a question of … Street or … Street; the simple fact is that I cannot go to either place. Thus does karma, the greatest of artists, make a plot which dictates simply that I exist in this place day after day, on dwindling funds, with only a desperate chance of accomplishing my mission, with no security whatever after April, no knowledge of what is to become of me. The dark night of the soul proceeds, apparently, in the brightest of sunshine. Looking back at the other page, where I spoke of meeting you in … and going to the beach, I realize I repeated this from habit - I have been saying it to myself and others, realizing it is only a chimerical dream, without foundation in fact or reason.

This does not worry me consciously, and apparently there is no concern about it in my subconscious - I have spent days and weeks in solid meditation, and wall after wall has crumbled in my mind; what lies behind them is reassuring, thrilling, and full of promise. But it is impossible not to realize, here in Israel, that at this point in the century such a soul as mine, which is merely a volunteer private in the army of awakening, might do as much or more on the other side as on this one. Here my best bet would be to teach at the Hebrew University in the winter and at Virginia Beach in the summer, but that is a prayer I dare not even utter.

So much for me and my silly problems, I am delighted that the [E.C.F.] drive is going well; I am sure it will be a success and that the dream we dared to have twenty years ago will gradually be realized. I have a few copies of THERE IS A RIVER here and they are being read by people I have met. Perhaps in this way the key will turn in the door and I will see the next room. At present there is nothing for me to do but to “lift up mine eyes to the hills, whence cometh my strength.”

My love to you and to all the faithful band.

Pray for me, [849]

R9. 5/25/49 Letter from Harold J. Reilly, Ph.T to GD:

“As you know, of course, [849] is back and we are giving him some treatments. He seems to be much better physically than I had expected. I think the knocking around he got in Israel did him good.”

R10. 6/27/49 Ltr. to HLC:

Dear Hugh Lynn:-

The discipline of exhaustion is part of asceticism - I seem to have been subjected to it by the new kind of volunteering

• accepting assignments which tax the physical resources past their normal strength. In this exhaustion state, provided the tiredness has come about through giving one’s strength to a spiritual cause, the opportunity for subconscious thinking and seeing to get through is improved. Now that I have come up to a point of normal concentration in self-consciousness (necessary for creative writing) I realize that I have been seeing with deeper eyes for some time. As a matter of fact the exhaustive principle has been going on for some time - ever since my illness I have been working while weary; but 1945 and my return to NY began a stepping up of work and a cutting down of sleep, which with Reilly’s health went forward until I was able to undertake the Israel trip - which was like taking off from Kitty Hawk on the first plane flight.

At Virginia Beach while lunching with you and talking with the ladies I was listening and seeing from this vantage point of exhaustion, which by removing the self from intensity gives an objectivity that gradually moves toward clairvoyance. I didn’t have a chance to talk to you about this - anyhow, one point is that I feel I must continue these patterns of exhaustion between periods of recuperation and creativity, and the Washington - N.Y. plan and the natural over-activity that N.Y. brings to me, is a good and natural growth, providing to this can be added the necessary extension of travel-reporting in the spiritual field that I and Harper’s believe to be the work I should add to my natural creative efforts. Since he who puts his hand to the plough and turns back is lost, I must move onward in this pattern.

Reilly asked me on the way down to the beach whether I wanted to return to NY in the fall and when I said yes he inquired about money needs, etc. I did not mention to him the possibility you brought up of a combination based on the drive for funds - I did say that I had no work there except lecturing, which would be scattered and dubious until my book appeared, when under Jewish auspices it would thrive. At the beach, however, while we were having lunch, I felt suddenly a natural harmony that projected an eating-together pattern, etc. for a near future period - perhaps a “communion” flash. Things are moving so quickly in the world that now we must also move quickly - and I realized that in talking to people about the ass’n and the micro-filming I now can talk about, not the imminence of disaster, but disaster itself. Israel is one of the focal points, and things are going to be very bad there - British-inspired Arab aggression will continue and get worse.

What your plans for NY are I don’t know but mine could easily fit into them from a standpoint of time and activity - if my living expenses were met, along with yours, then so much time usually given to tedious labor could be given to pleasant conversation with people on spiritual subjects, with the ass’n work as a jumping-off and landing place. Other than that I’d lecture - if McDonald’s book does come through I might have to work on it there, but I have made up my mind to dictate it anyhow, and it would be an excuse to hire Ilse full-time. The point is to be in N.Y. and be free to talk to people about spiritual matters - the last battle has begun; we are needed on the firing line.

McGehee Marvey, who is head of Johns Hopkins now, told me he thought Compound E would help me and said he would keep an eye on it for me and let me know when it would be wise for me to take the treatment. I do not know how soon this will be, but perhaps in the fall or winter some time. I think that if this does NOT help me I will ask Reilly about having x-rays made with the idea of picking one spot, probably my right hip, and having it broken lose under anesthesia - the idea being to get movement in the important middle section, which is all that keeps me from crutches, from a great deal of self-help, from getting to the bathroom, etc. It would cut down the care I need and give me a big push toward self- sufficiency.

The time has come for these things to be done, I think - it does not matter to me whether I go to NY in the fall or in late Jan. when the book is near to publication. I will write to the lecture agent, Charles S. Pearson, and mention the probable wisdom of holding lecture dates in abeyance until something is known about when I can try Compound E - for the chance of being more able to get around is a considerable factor in lecturing; though I’ll do it anyhow. However, if you are in NY in the fall and I go up also, then I could take Compound E under Reilly’s watchful eye, and if I did nothing else but talk to people and take the compound it would be well, omitting the possibility of the McDonald book and some Jewish speaking dates.

It seems to me I recall that you mentioned fall as the time; I am not certain. If so, and if you still think it worth- while for us to operate as a team, perhaps we can begin thinking about a hotel and perhaps get something at a better rate than the Seymour - they robbed me on my last trip. On the other hand, the Seymour is handy - but [903], it seems to me, has connections with the Barbizon-Plaza. Simply on the basis of the high-class people we’ll have in the joint they ought to give us a rate. If Compound E works, then after the drive and your return to Va. Beach, I ought to be able to return to the city and not require so much help or perhaps not find it necessary to stay at mid-town.

At any rate, I felt in the yard there that we were about to undertake another important adventure together, and this is what comes to my mind logically as an answer…

Your little house is lovely, your sons wonderful - and you and Sally deserve them. I wanted to stay longer, but there is a job to do here, and the sunburn I got told me to stay away from the beach for a while yet - I have a face full of blisters and my nose has peeled off. But it was a fine trip all around - thanks for everything - hope the congress was a big success.

R11. 8/5/49 HLC’s ltr. to Mrs. [903]: “I saw [849] in Washington, D.C. about ten days ago. He is in good spirits and is working hard on his book.”

R12. 8/21/49 Mr. [849]‘s letter to HLC: “The book is going slowly. All else is worse.”

R13. 10/10/49 HLC’s ltr. to Mrs. [903]: “[849] telephoned me [from Johns Hopkins] the other afternoon to explain that so far he has not rec’d the special drug tr. but has been getting the sex hormones, which have helped a great many such cases as his. He was feeling a great deal better, with much less muscular tension. He expected to be able to begin the drug tr. last week or early this week and plans to phone me again as early this week as possible, to give me some indication of his plans.”

R14. 11/4/49 Ltr. to HLC:

Johns Hopkins Hospital Baltimore, Md. Friday nite.

Dear H. L.

Dave has perhaps told you that on Thursday I found out my ACTH doses have only been half strength; now that I have been on full strength for two days (the batch was only half potent when it came from the lab, and this was not at first known) I feel more work going on in the calcium, and there are more of the side reactions normal to ACTH - I feel a bit bloated, for instance, because the ACTH induces the body to retain sodium, which retains fluids. Such symptoms pass away as soon as the medicine is stopped. From now I’d figure a two week run to see what it will really do.

It is difficult to separate this idea of what it will do from future plans, but they are not going to change with regard to the specifically karmic situation in Washington except by an act of will other than my own, though the time may come when it will be necessary to recognize a parting of the rope. I hope that will not come to pass. This time I am trying from within, as before, but with the additional desire from help beyond the within.

[1102] came today but her visit was not very long. She was nervous, tired, and dispirited, so I waited and did not open the subject myself of your visit. Instead I showed a deep but not an obviously eager interest in the furniture, the house, etc. But she herself was not enthusiastic about it. She opened the subject of your visit by saying, “Well, H. L. told me [257] had been to see you. Why didn’t you tell me? What shenanegans are going on?” I explained it quietly, and then she went into the subject of the [257]-[903]‘s, went over all her wounds and rubbed them raw, and stated her position. “There is no blame attached to me in this at all. The blame is entirely theirs and I’ll tell them so if I ever see them.”

In this I said that in my opinion the situation was one that indicated a simple fact in her nature - that people found her difficult to approach and that if, during the years, conversation on small things had grown into a friendly intimacy between her and the [257]-[903]‘s, the subject would have been talked out in N.Y. before any understanding had been breached. I tried to establish for her an objective fact about herself - the remoteness of her nature AS IT APPEARS TO OTHERS. I said that if this had its basis in her own shyness and self-consciousness, as I had often thought, it was the thing I myself wanted to help her with, after which it would not prove a barrier to others. I said that the failure of our marriage to establish first of all a unity of ourselves, was thus reflected in a division of [849] and [1102] among our friends.

This, so far as I could see, did not “take,” for she went off on a tangent about other people’s over-enthusiasm about things, and ended with the same tirade against those - [257]-[903]‘s, Joe Duffy of Holt, etc - who always were wildly excited about each book I did and overestimated sales, monetary results, etc.

I got her off that by asking her what she thought of your remarks in general. She said she told you she felt sorry for you if you said to me what you intended - that I was unable to accept it and would reject it. This had to do with your remark about the application of spiritual love in the family. I said that I heartily agreed with you and only asked the opportunity, as I had before. She said it was all up to me, that I was poisoned mentally and spread poison, and that no one could help me but myself - there was nothing for her to do.

I asked to go back and check when this attitude began, and took her back to the beginning of our marriage, pointing out that objectively her ideas of intimacy and mine were different and that the fault at base was the lack of union, and the feeling in me that all the normal relationship of marriage was a frustration for me, without seeming so to her.

This, however, only brought out the charge (I was afraid this was coming) that my attitude toward women was Mohammedan and that, as H. L. said, I was incapable of loving any woman. I said I agreed with the attitude except in her case - that she represented the woman toward which I had a Christian attitude of love, and this accounted for the marriage.

As is normal in everything in my life of this nature, we were then interrupted by the girl bringing supper, and [1102] left to return to Washington [GD’s note: See subsequent mention of Mrs. [1102] and their situation under daughter’s rdg. 1521-2 Reports.].

Thus her first reaction was the same as her reaction whenever in the past I have tried to talk it out with her myself. Always she seized on any confession or concession I made, any admittance of fault on my part, and used it thereafter as a whip. In this case she selected three things - [257]‘s visit, your statement that I would have to practice spiritual love in the home, and your remark that my attitude toward women is Mohammedan. She selected these and began to wield them against me, covering thereby anything of her own guilt, which is again denied.

As to what will result later I do not know. I know that in this past when these results have come from a talk between us I have kept plugging for a while and then become discouraged and retreated within myself. I shall keep trying this time and make an effort not to be discouraged, and not to retreat within myself. None of us knows how long he can bear a particular piece of karma and I do not know how long I can bear this one, but I will try.

I thought it well to give you this report while it is fresh, and you can depend that I will honestly tell you as the thing proceeds what transpires. [1102] made one enigmatic remark - “There is also a Mohammedan attitude toward men.” Also, she said, without relationship to anything else, that she was not going to give away [1521]‘s baby furniture because in not too many years [1521] might want it herself - she was looking ahead a dozen or more years, leaping that period without, so far as I could see, any idea of accomplishing much in between.

Her feeling when she came, while she was here, and when she left was composed, so far as I could see, of indignation, self-righteousness, self-pity, and bitter resentment against me. She was utterly apathetic when I told her that I was now getting full doses of ACTH and feeling reaction.

So much for that. John Chambers called today and he will tell [257] and [903] about the Benstock matter. Meanwhile, watch and pray a little for me - it is not a good time for my soul to be alone.

Love, [849]

R15. 11/25/49 Ltr. to HLC from [257]-[903]‘s home in N.Y.C.:

Dear Hugh Lynn:-

This might get to the beach Monday but then again it might not, so since you want it in NY I’ll send it there.

It was a wonderful week and after a few weeks work I’ll be ready for another one. It will meanwhile be difficult to straighten out the mess of my correspondence and get back to the book but I’ll do it - and I am going to engage a very part-time gal to help me with the load of letters. I’ll be in better shape physically (I hope) and otherwise when the second round opens.

Today my Norwegian massaged me and found me much better. I believe the ACTH is working small changes all the time, but after I’ve been able to watch it carefully for another week I’ll know.

Among our things we uncovered an original ms which your dad dictated to Gladys back in 1935 - the story of his life in outline. I’m sending it to you at Va. Beach thinking you might like to have it either for yourself or as a souvenir among the Association mementoes of your father.

Having taken you at gin rummy my courage is up. Next time, bring a chessboard.

Love, [849]

R16. 2/27/50 Ltr. to HLC:

Washington 12, D.C.

Dear Hugh Lynn:-

When I reported to Dr. Harvey that I was feeling better (as he predicted) and said I was working on my book he advised me to stay put until I hit another low period, then come right over - so I am to be here all of March until I flop. [1102] asked me to extend an invitation for you to stay here, and I do so, realizing you may have already made other arrangements, and also that this might be inconvenient - if, however, you are not signed up and want to come here you’re most welcome - I only hesitate to put anyone else in this situation, though of course your presence would take the heat off me while you remained. If you have your choice, I won’t influence it. I’ll be working hard, as will you, so it might be convenient since we could use the free time as it came along and get some talking done.

Just let me know when you are coming.

Went to Philly and had a successful talk and a good meeting with my brother; also saw Al Turner and talked with him.

[849]

R17. 6/6/50 HLC reported that [849] was to return to Johns Hopkins next week for treatment.

R18. 7/25/50 Ltr. to HLC:

Care … Lake … …, Connecticut

Dear Hugh Lynn:-

Thanks for your letter and the check; it will indeed make the summer budget more flexible; I find that the best way to get along here is to use a visiting nurse, and this is an item that over the two-month period runs to just about $100.

It is cool and pleasant here; I have only been able to get into the water during the last few days - the temperature has been too low. I am now adjusting myself to the lower buoyancy of fresh water and the fact that I have not been swimming in two years.

The ACTH continues to help me. At the hospital it did away with my lassitude in 24 hours, and thereafter it built up my energy. [5436] came up and went through a check-up, so I had a week of evenings with him - he has been bothered by rheumatism, of the metabolic type. I don’t know the results of his tests, as he had not received them when I left. My own tests continued to show quite definitely that the adrenals were affected in hormone production. The staff thinks the exhaustion period from my mother’s death in May, 1937, to the time of my illness, was the signal. In this connection see a reading for me in June, 1937 [849-18] - a warning. I suppose there was no point in mentioning glandular dysfunction then in a reading, when nothing could be done for it.

I was at the hospital a week before the ACTH treatment was begun. During that time another illness began. I was able to diagnose this one myself, but I had to tell the doctors it was an ACTH reaction (though it began four days before the treatment) because I knew its origin.

It began one day when I was sitting at my typewriter. I felt a sickness in the lower abdomen and lower bowel - the skin in the area prickled, and the scrotum shrivelled, and from it rods of nervous sickness went through me. I had to examine it for a minute to recognize it, because I had not experienced fear in some time, and there was nothing to fear at the moment. But that was it - fear. It was the identical feeling I first encountered when as a kid a bully stopped me and I realized that he was going to beat me up and that there was nothing I could do about it. I have had the same feeling at other times, and always when the situation was the same - the certainty of a beating for no cause whatever, with no explanation, and no help at hand.

Fortunately [1102] [5/57 See 1102-1, Par. R4, for extract from Gina Cerminara’s book, THE WORLD WITHIN, (pp. 107- 108) “Some Karmic Aspects of Sex,” referring to Mr. [849] and Mrs. [1102]] did not see me until after the ACTH treatment had begun, because she said immediately, “You look sick.” I said it was a side-effect of the ACTH. Otherwise I would have had to tell her that the situation in Washington had finally produced physical effects, for I knew then that the only way to relieve the sickness was to distract myself - as soon as I was alone and not wrapped in a book or a writing task, my mind went to [1102] and Washington and the prickling and nausea returned. I found it most difficult to work because when I stopped to think of what I wanted to say, or to change paper, my thoughts went to Washington and then I had to fight the sickness to keep going - as I am doing right now (after eating it hits the stomach too).

When [1102] and [1521] came to get me and [5436] said goodbye my arms were shaking. On the way over [1102] said something sharply, and I jumped and nearly threw up what was in my stomach, before I realized she was talking to [1521]. After [1521] left for camp I was alone with her and her father for 25 hours and I shook and prayed for that time. Up here I was relieved for a few days and then I found myself thinking of the return to Washington, and the attacks resumed - so the vacation is being spoiled, and the condition is getting worse. My work is also halted; I can’t keep my mind on Michael’s book, or on anything else.

My brother and I have decided therefore that I shall talk with my Aunt Margaret, the titular head of the family, and after that with a priest. I shall do this soon; it may relieve me a little to be doing something about it, but if there is no way to avoid returning to Washington nothing will stop it. The day before I went to the hospital I was told there was not money enough for my bill, so I had to write my way out. Now she is frightened by the war and writes that she is getting a new stove and icebox, charging them to me, and looking at cars (I wrote my way out of the hospital by doing a piece on baseball for the … Magazine, and she has apparently decided to spend the entire check even before it arrives - I borrowed the amount necessary for the hospital, against the check).

Perhaps it all had to come to this. Anyhow, it has demonstrated to me that blood is indeed thicker than water, and that friendship is a myth - with the single exception of my brother (and perhaps of my aunt, who will have heard the story by the time you get this) none of those who discovered the situation rallied to my side - the usual reaction was [903]‘s, which I had occasion to observe often - an embarrassed smirk and, “I’m sure everything will work out all right.” If I hear that once more I’ll have hysterics. Actually, everyone blamed me and took [1102] as she wanted to be taken. What hurt me most was that among those I had loved for long years not one believed I was telling the truth. What hurt next to that was the casual abandonment of me to the continuing torment. It was a lesson in love - I had to turn the other cheek and love them for Christ’s sake, not for anything I observed which was lovable.

What will happen I don’t know - probably I’ll go back to Washington, since [1102] keeps me too broke to make an escape (I think that is premeditated). If I don’t, it will be because the sickness continues and does not submit to the psychotherapy of brother, aunt, priest, and a summer with old friends. What I fear is the spread of the sickness - already thoughts of the [257]-[903]‘s or the beach starts it off.

It ain’t fun, and I know it is building up a physical condition in the digestive tract.

Love, [849]

R19. 9/2/50 HLC’s ltr. to Mrs. [903]: I had a note from [849] the other day indicating his temporary address is at the … Hotel …, N.Y. Apparently he does not plan to return to D.C.

R20. 2/22/51 Mr. [849]‘s letter: The experience with cortisone has been a happy one but has taken a sad turn now. I have been on it a week and we were just on the verge of being able to say definitely that it was working on my joints, when because of black marketeering and army priority the drug became unavailable. But I know it can do me a lot of good so I will resume it when the situation clears.

R21. 5/31/51 “Last week I had a bad reaction to some ACTH. I vomited blood for a day. I am better but still weak.”

R22. 8/52 See Friend Rev. [2480]‘s letter under 849-11 Reports in re [849] having become a “Minister.”

R23. 10/13/52 Ltr. to HLC:

C. F. Palmer Leftover Cottage - Pine Lane Warm Springs, Georgia

Dear H. L.—

The mercy of Allah has descended slightly. I have a little relief from the queen of pains, sciatica. So I can apologize for my last note to you. I was in agony 90% of the time and was praying that I could finish a chapter involving material in books borrowed in Aberdeen, which had to be returned. I was desperate that the book was not finished, also. In fact I was suffering in all parts of myself, at once. Your letter and the ms. thus provoked expression of thoughts which otherwise either would not have occurred or, occurring, would have been conquered and cast down. I’m sorry.

My motor trip through Scotland had to be abandoned. I returned to the US on my left side - by railway coach to Glasgow, by ambulance to Prestwick airport, across two seats and a pile of luggage aboard a BOAC stratocruiser. With the help of aspirin, anadin, codeine, pethadibe, nepenthe, and a bottle of brandy I got to Idlewild. I also had my sciatic nerve injected with procaine, and this process was repeated in NY.

There I saw various doctors who are experts in arthritic rehabilitation, among them Dr. Leo Mayer, chief surgeon at the Joint Diseases Hospital, the best man in arthroplastic surgery - plastic joints. He laid out a master plan of four operations - two hips, one knee, one elbow, which will get me on my feet sufficiently that, with a self-propelling chair, I can take care of myself. I may do even better, depending on the response of my muscles and tendons.

A committee has been formed to raise $10,000 for the expenses; the time required will be between one and two years. The idea is to approach people who have money, in Foundations or personal funds, for such philanthropy. [903] is the chairwoman and my brother, Reilly, Carl Voss and Miriam Jackson, Sidney Fields, Bob Bruce, etc., are the other members. If you have any friends who might be thus approached, you are thus automatically a member. Helen Taylor Cook thinks the Ass’n should work on the problem but we nixed this for the present because it is to be quiet and anonymous until all that can be gotten from wealthy contributors and found- ations is in, and if a few thousand are lacking it might be the time to seek small contributions from a large number of individuals. I’m opposed to this and hope it won’t have to be done.

So, not a word about it in any printed way whatever, though you can publish it by mouth as much as you like, the idea being to turn up sources of philanthropic funds.

Helen, by the way, came into town and helped [1156] look after me. She is not in love with me, thank God, and we get along famously. [903] was brave and cruel for all of three hours, bless her heart. Following the incidents of the past six months I feel wonderfully convinced that monastic life is the only approach to genuine happiness. I had it in Scotland and I have it here, and I like it.

But I don’t like this place or the set-up here, and unless final terms of the deal are to my liking I may go back to NY and start the operations at once, instead of waiting for this job to finish, in the spring.

I saw [1521] on my way down. She is radiant and beautiful and excited at last about poetry and the stage and everything creative - reminded me of freshman year and Sundays at [5436]. She’s five years ahead of my mental awakening, but being a girl in the mid-20th century she needs this head start.

More and more letters come asking me to expand the philosophy chapter of TIR. In mid-summer I realized that THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING with the new version of the prophecy book, which I have now entitled, THE SECRET HISTORY OF MAN. If Harper’s doesn’t like it I may offer it to Holt as a companion volume to TIR. If we can’t lick the enemy, we may as well join him. If the well comes in we can BUY Holt!

Here is a letter from [2480], which I have answered. I said I’d send the letter on to you, so drop him a note if you have time.

Love, [849]

R24. 11/5/52 Letter to HLC from N.Y. [home of [257]-[903]]:

“Georgia turned into a nightmare… Two weeks ago tomorrow I left Atlanta (I also found I could get no therapy there - the laws of the polio foundation make it illegal to treat any but polio cases). Since being here I have been ill with dysentery, indigestion, and a sort of emotional shock which causes me to tire quickly.

“I’ve made arrangements to enter the Hospital for Joint Diseases, 1919 Madison Ave., on Nov. 20th 1st hip operation the next day, Nov. 21st. Put me on the Prayer List from now on for success in this venture. If the knife slips, or the heart skips, I’ll immediately look up your father and say, ‘Have you appeared to or communicated with ANYBODY on earth, and if not, will you appear to ALL the group at the Beach and SAY so?’ I’ll look up your mother, too, and give her your love.

”[…] and […] are enthusiastic about the prophecy book, which is now turning out to be the expansion of THERE IS A RIVER’s philosophy chapter so long requested. The new title is, ‘The Secret History of Man.’ They’ll cooperate with you in direct mail and other approaches, via - at last - the long awaited sequel to THERE IS A RIVER, etc.”

R25. 11/17/52 Reply to HLC’s invitation to recuperate at his home between operations:

You will never know what it meant to me to receive your letter this morning. I have been thinking about the intermediary periods between my operations, and my thoughts were discouraging ones. My brother’s house is impossible from many points of view, and I do not feel that I can impose on [903] for extended periods of time. Also, there is the problem of getting into some sunshine and fresh air, and of being in an environment which will be sympathetic to the spiritual atmosphere I want at present. Even here, where I have kept my return a secret from all but a few, the word has gotten around and the same routine has begun to build up - people and talk and talk and people, and very little time for thinking and reading and writing. I shall therefore keep you invitation in my heart, and be grateful for it.

Dr. Mayer was here yesterday. He will do my right hip first. He will be prepared to do whatever is indicated, and will have his staff with him. The hazard is contained in my physical condition - whether my flesh will accommodate itself to the mechanical joint and allow it to move. If there is total failure then I shall still be better off, because the obdurate joints can be set in different positions than those which they now occupy, and I can be taught to look after myself even with the joints in a fixed position, so long as these positions can be arbitrarily set by the surgeons.

However, Dr. Mayer thinks, and I believe, that movement will be possible. He is thinking in terms of making me ambulatory on crutches, and able to handle a wheelchair by myself. Therefore I hope that when you do go west in the spring you will have with you for my friends out there, some very good news.

I thank you for your prayers and I shall lean upon them.

Love, [849]

R26. 12/6/52 HLC’s ltr. to [849]:

Saturday Morning

Dear [849]-

[903] talked with me about you last night. In the strain of the long hours of work and the trials she has gone through, I am afraid she has misunderstood my silence. The part of you which composed your last letter to me could not question, but if in these long days of pain there has been even a slight doubt in consciousness, let me explain, and show this to [903] if you wish.

Every day, and many times on some days, as best I know how I have sought the presence of God, and there brought into as clear conscious focus as was possible the memory, the thoughts, the dreams, of all that you and I have held to be good. Then, I have prayed that through you God will continue to find “a way of expression.”

For me, and I think for you also, our relationship has more and more taken on a timeless quality. The world as a point of expression as a place to test and try the principles which we have tried together many times, to make a part of the inner structure of our beings has not always been easy for either of us in any age.

This time, [849], I have tried to give you the best that - of the little I have. To make this possible, I have closed out every thought of concern, of fear, of doubt. To write, to phone, to think, except at these times of prayer, would have only defeated, I believe, the purpose of this communion. I know from my experiences that the inner you understands.

Minds and souls and spirits are not bound by this earth, unless we bind them. You can, if the inner you desires it, stay on in this body, frail, troubled as it is, to write and speak that which will quicken the minds and hearts of others, and inspire them by your very presence to live up to the challenge of their higher selves, or if you will to rest it will be only a moment before you channel the “fire” at a new level.

Whatever you choose, words - my words at least - will not be adequate to express the joy I have known in sharing AND IN CONTINUING TO SHARE the dreams of helping each other as God used our gifts - tarnished as they have been at times.

You must know, [849], and this needs to be said only for the outer consciousness, that I believe I have served you best at this time through the mind and heart in the silence of His Presence, as I am able to find it. Perhaps, it is only weakness that says if I write, and think and telephone and reach out to those who must walk this troubled road with you just now, it would only block what little I can be the channel for now - but I think because of the light that I have seen around you that I have chosen the better way, and that you understand.

If my physical presence will bring one moment of peace, you know that you have only to mention it. My mind and my heart have never been far from the bedside.

R27. Died 1/6/53 - 5:20 P.M. Kidneys stopped functioning.

R28. 1/9/53 Ltr. from Rudolph Johnson to HLC:

Johnson & Mead Attorneys at Law Mercantile Bank Building Dallas 1, Texas

Rudolph Johnson John J. Mead, Jr.

Mr. Hugh Lynn Cayce c/o Association for Research & Enlightenment Virginia Beach, Virginia

Dear Hugh Lynn:

I received you wire about [849] and Polly and I are shocked and deeply grieved. We feel so bad especially because we have not been in contact with him recently. I wish you would send me a detailed letter and tell me all of the circumstances. Polly and I had a very bad feeling about the proposed operations when we first heard of the plan. He was the good, dependable, brainy arm of the Association, and we will miss him sorely.

Most sincerely,

[signed] Rudolph Johnson By: L. G.

RJ/lg

R29. 1/26/53 HLC ltr. to Rudolph Johnson:

Mr. Rudolph Johnson Mercantile Bank Bldg. Dallas 1, Texas

Dear Rudy and Polly:-

While in Scotland [849] suffered a great deal, especially during the last weeks of his stay there he developed a sciatic conditions which must have caused him greater pain than he has ever suffered at any time. This is saying a good deal. He wrote me a letter about this describing the sciatic condition and extreme pains. On his flight home it was necessary for doctors to inject narcotics directly into the sciatic nerve, and even that did not prevent him from suffering a great deal.

On his arrival in New York he went directly to Georgia where he had made arrangements to write a book on housing for a man connected with the Warm Springs Foundation. After he arrived there he found the conditions most unsatisfactory and it was necessary for him to return to New York. The treatments that he expected through the Foundation were not forthcoming. The man backed out on his contract for the book and conditions were pretty bad, according to his description.

In New York he talked with physicians regarding the possibility of putting plastic joints in both hips and elbows. He had already discussed this at some length, as you know. Some money was raised by friends and foundations there to provide the initial expenses for an operation, and he went into the Joint Diseases Hospital there in New York for these operations. So far as I could learn from Mr. [257] and Mrs. [903] he had the very best care possible. The results of the operation itself were excellent, but - as in so many similar cases - the patient died. [849]‘s body simply could not stand the shock. First the blood clotted in the lungs and this was followed by a failure in the kidneys. He was fed intravenously for some time and this did not help the eliminations.

So far as I can gather, [849] did not suffer a great deal and was conscious almost until the very end. Of course there was no fear or concern with regard to dying. In forty-five years he accomplished more than the average, far more than the average man accomplishes in a full life’s span. I am speaking, now, not of the outer things - it is true of them also - but I speak of the inner world of the mind and heart and spirit, which I knew.

If we take the readings’ measure of a man, that it lies in what one gives, not in what one has, then certainly [849] has climbed well up the ladder. Surely some plane of consciousness is a more active, a more interesting, and a better place, I think, for his arrival.

Rudy, a little later I want to write you about the well [See 5628-11 Reports]. I have been spending considerable time in prayer and I think it is possible that I may get some sum-up or understanding of the situation. Your letters to Peter Ballbusch and others, copies of which you sent to me, have meant a great deal more to me than I can ever express in words.

As you and Polly well know, this whole effort is a strange one in many respects. It would be very difficult to go on without a few people like you.

Thank you again for all the thought and effort in behalf of the Association.

Love from everyone here to you both.

Sincerely, HLC

gd

R30. 3/1/54 Ltr. from Anne Rainey to GD:

Dearest Gladys,

I think of you often, don’t think I don’t and today I had to write you a few lines. I know you’re busy and happy and its the Gladys’s of the world that keep memories alive. You don’t have to answer this - I was just thinking of you and all the people I met thru you. The other day while scanning thru and old magazine I ran across a little poem of [849]‘s. It was so sweet and appealing and I felt sad just reading it. Sad that [849] died so young. But he’s left himself so vividly behind.

For writing a dream Or painting a dream Or putting a dream to music Makes that person sort of special. And if long before his time He has reached the end of his mile But if he’s had a dream Well then, that life was worth the while! For a dreamer is something special! He lives in a special world A world all his very own And the joys that build up within him Come from only the seeds God and he has sown! He is never lonely or sad For all god’s gifts he’s had No matter how trite this world may seem He’s lived special- For he’s had his dream!

I’ve written this for [849] (tho I never met him personally) but too for all the dreamers of the world. Think of me sometime -

Love to you and Al

[signed] Anne Rainey [Mrs. John A. Rainey Virginia Beach, Va.]

(GD’s note: Anne Rainey worked for the Edgar Cayce Foundation in 1948-49 during the campaign for funds to prepare the Edgar Cayce readings. A few years later, after the above letter, she died rather young herself - with cancer.

Mrs. [1102] had not been in favor of the decision of [849] to undertake the series of operations. During his illness in the hospital a nurse told Mrs. [1102] that [849]‘s history did not show the great amounts of cortisone he had taken, and that such serious surgery should never have been undertaken under the circumstances.)

R31. 6/66 See Source File Key #849 for The Reader’s Digest article “My Most Unforgettable Character” by Doris Agee re 849-76.

Background

Background

B1. See 849-75 on 1/25/44.

B2. 5/22/44 He submitted questions.

Mentioned Entities

Prayer, Dreams, Hugh Lynn Cayce, Karma, New York City, Virginia Beach, A.R.E. (Association for Research and Enlightenment), John (Apostle), Soul, Entity (Cayce Term), Gladys Davis, Texas, Book of Job, Meditation, Prophecy, Purpose, Subconscious Mind, Gina Cerminara, Glands (Esoteric), Last Supper

Source: The Complete Edgar Cayce Readings, A.R.E. CD-ROM (2006). Reading 849-76, ReadingID 5069.